Thursday, January 9, 2014

"Weighs" of Life

 I can tell you almost each and every year of my life since I was 15 what my weight was.
I like many in this world have grown up with a complex.
That the weight by which society see's us, gives weight to who we are
Here is a brief journey in the "ways" in which I have "weighed" my life
"My Little Pumpkin"
"Look at those big cheeks"
"Oh what a little butterball"
"A healthy child, her mother feeds her well"
"Our Big Pumpkin"
"There's just more of her to love"
"She looks like one of those Gerber kids"
"Your too fat to fit on that swing"
"You can't be on our team, you can't even run"
"Your gonna bend the monkey bars with your big butt"
"Fat girls don't belong in gymnastics"
"Winner of the Turtle Award: An award given to the slowest kid"
"You can't run? What are yous stupid?"

"Sweet 16 and I weighted 118. Doctors said I was 10 lbs too heavy for my height"
"Big Boned, no its called lazy"
I hid most of my teen years in black, it was more slimming
Age 21: Weight: 118  I was finally were the doctors said I belonged
I hardly ate, I had no energy, and what's funny is my siblings still called me fat
and my mother called me anorexic.
Sweet 30: Weight: 170.  Overweight and a size 14
What this doesn't tell you are all the successes I had in my life the last 9 years
The amazing 3 boys, my supporting and loving husband, and my success as a business woman.
And the truth of the matter: I am doing what I love to do, so why do I just see a size?
Age: 35 Weight: 185 Size 16-18
Feet going numb each night
Hard to breathe
Feet swollen and painful to walk on
Can't run or chase my boys and I was tired all the time
Time to face reality....time to find a balance in life......
Age: 37 Weight: 125 Size 2-4
I had never run before, and here I was running 10 minute miles
I was asked to teach Pilates, Yoga, and other fitness classes
Me the unhealthy unfit girl...
A dream come true!
or was it?
No matter how hard I worked
No matter how strict the diet
My clients knew when I gained a lb. or two
I was always being asked when I was going to start to loose the weight again
Tons of my professional friends were being asked to be on video
Some where even becoming famous
and yet I was still being told I was too fat.........
so I worked harder, better, stronger, you name it I tried!
I thought that I had hit my own success when I was teaching
17 fitness classes a week!
I thought
I was weighing my priorities in life by the wrong scale
This is me after a year of being on bed rest
After thousands in therapy and doctor visits
Don't ask how many needles I had been poked with
Don't ask how many crazy and deadly drugs they tried to stick me on
Can I tell you my weight in this photo....yes..I could...
but it doesn't matter anymore

When one is faced with the truth that they may never hike again, ever bike again, or ever run again
it changes the weight of everything!

I have spent almost two years in bed
I have discovered a rare disorder that I have with my hip
I will forever have this disorder
It was going to happen sooner or later in my life
I just ran my clock faster and harder than I needed to

So where do I "weigh" my priorities now...

Well that's another blog!


  1. Oh how I relate to this post 100% Thanks for being such a good example to me, you have made such a difference to me in my life and the way I look at myself and take care of myself. Love you.

  2. Thank you for posting this Jeannie. You inspire me every day. No matter how you weigh your life, you have three boys and a husband who adore you whether you're resting in bed or running around like crazy on all your errands. Thank you for every moment you share with us.